How to talk to your kids about food

Food is fuel. If we keep language around food simple and unbiased, it helps create a non-judgmental zone around the foods we choose. Here are some tips to talk with your kids (or friends or family members) about food to help them build a healthy relationship with the foods that fuel their bodies.  

Focus on how each food nourishes your body

At Rise we talk about two kinds of foods: whole foods and soul foods. Whole foods have more nutrients like fiber, vitamins, and minerals in addition to the energy they provide, while soul foods are the foods that feed our mind and our soul, but don’t provide the best array of nutrients. Whether you are eating a whole food like a dinner of chicken, potatoes, and a salad, or soul food like a bowl of ice cream, your body still gets nourishment from it. Whole foods tend to fuel your body and provide essential nutrients we need to function properly, while soul foods often satisfy our cravings and allow us to create special memories with friends and family. Including both types of foods in a healthy, balanced diet is vital, and that’s why we talk about eating whole foods 80% of the time, and soul foods 20% of the time. There is not a food you eat that will not provide you with some kind of nourishment. 

Avoid negative labels

The reason we label foods as a “whole food” or a “soul food” instead of using the terms “bad” or “good” is because the latter labels have a negative or a positive connotation that can elicit feelings associated with the labeled foods. If you were to eat a food labeled as “bad,” you may feel guilty about it, and might find yourself mentally beating yourself up about it. This can lead to overeating “bad” foods or throwing in the towel with your goals because you feel like you can’t make progress. Instead of labeling foods as good or bad, if we talk about them with neutral words that don’t have an inherent positive or negative association, we are able to enjoy a variety of foods while understanding that all foods fit into a balanced diet. This is especially important when talking to or around kids. Kids listen to what’s said around them, including what is said about food. If you label a cookie as bad, and a salad as good, they will carry that feeling of positivity or negativity with them as they grow and eventually make their own food choices. Instead, if you use different words, such as whole foods or soul foods (or any other label you think would work well for your family), your child will have a better understanding of which foods should be eaten more often, and which foods should be enjoyed in moderation but not cut out entirely. 

Employ a growth mindset, not a black and white one

This advice applies to all areas of life, not just discussions about food. The difference between a growth mindset and a fixed, or black and white mindset, has a lot to do with how we react to failure. If we see failure as an opportunity to grow and improve, we will use different situations, such as eating more dessert over the holidays or overindulging on the weekend, as motivation to work even harder towards our goals. Falling into a fixed mindset often results in black and white thinking, such as, “This is a bad food to eat. If I eat it I will lose all my progress and might as well throw in the towel.” The combination of a deeply ingrained negative association with a certain food and an all-or-nothing mindset will not lead to success. 

The key to remember when it comes to mindset is that progress is progress, and a step forward, no matter how small, is still a step closer to your goal. It’s also important to remember that progress is not linear, and sometimes you have to take a step back to take a bigger step forward. When talking to your kids or family about goals, try addressing some situations where you have had a fixed mindset, and some situations where you have been able to improve by applying a growth mindset. 

There is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to teaching kids how to build a healthy relationship with food. However, these tips offer ways to use neutral language around food and help your children understand that food is fuel and all food can be part of a balanced diet if eaten in moderation. 

We are here to help! If you have questions about having food conversations or how to change your own relationship with food, don’t hesitate to reach out. Schedule a time to have a conversation with our team here.